Lately there have been some circumstances that have left me feeling adrift, lost, even disconnected and hopeless. I immediately started to pray and although I didn't feel better right away, I did feel less disconnected and more like I could trust that God would take care of me in my time of need. Its a strange feeling for some people to just trust that God loves them and to give all their problems and heartache and anything and everything else they have going on in their lives into His hands to take over and fix. He makes sense of the jumbled lives we lead. He undoes the knots and the kinks and he straightens out our path and makes it easy for us to follow again. He would do anything for us if only we had faith in him that he could and would do it.
That's pretty much what I did last week sometime. Crap was really getting hard, stressful, overwhelming and depressing and I was fed up feeling like that anymore. I just wanted peace and I wanted my mind to just stop for a second and not think about all the stuff that was going on. I didn't want to cry over anything or anyone again and I wanted to take charge of my life but only after it was OK to do so, meaning when he was done fixing it. lol.
So I prayed, a lot, and I talked to some people who had all the right words, and I started to notice little things starting to happen in my life just in the last week that I don't believe would have happened if I hadn't given all my problems to God and let him sort out my mess of a life. I have a joy that I didn't have before, that things will be OK and that however my life turns out, whether in my present or my future, I know that there is a bigger plan than I can see. I am a strong woman and I may even be stronger now than I was months ago. I am a Christian and I draw my strength from my God and his love for me keeps me going no matter what is going on in my life. I am going to be a business owner soon and I am going to start a whole new chapter of my life. Its going to be challenging and it will be exciting. I want to have financial security, just like everybody else, and this is the road that will lead to that. I am more confident in my abilities and in who I am and what I want to be, and I think that I love even more then I used to. I have a big heart and I just want to love and be loved.
Its so nice when I have eye opening moments in my life that make me think "how could I ever have doubted this?" It just makes me stronger and happier to know that I have something other people don't. It really reminds me of a song that I used to listen to when I was younger, there are some lyrics in it that ring true to what I believe and that's this: "Those here without the Lord how do you cope, for this morning we don't mourn like those who have no hope."
When bad stuff happens to people who have no hope in anything, it baffles me how they can overcome things on their own with no help. If I didn't have something to keep hopeful about then I think I would mourn everything in a way that left no hope or chance for change.
Everything gets better a friend told me that recently. Whether talking about breaking up with someone and finding someone new, leaving a job and going someplace else, moving into a new house or just going through normal changes in our life, its in our nature to find something better until we find what we're looking for and then we can stop searching and finally be happy with what we have. We;re always striving for the next best thing, but sometimes what we have IS the next best thing and we don't even see it.
I encourage everybody to think hard about what you have and what you want to change in your life, trust that there's a bigger plan out there that you can't even imagine and that things will get better for you if you want them to and if you're not absolutely happy with what is standing right in front of you.