Playing mom for the weekend

I had a lot of fun with Izzy this weekend. Shes 7 years old and her mom Kristin is a single mother. Izzy's father doesn't have much rights to her so when Kristin left Friday afternoon for Chicago I came over after work to spend the weekend at their house. We painted our nails and toenails together the first night and then we went out for sushi to noble fish with my friend Brandon and then all three of us walked around downtown Royal Oak and saw a bunch of cool things like a live concert on Washington Ave and people walking their dogs, which Izzy just loved because shes an animal lover. It was weird sleeping in another persons bed, the only other time I haven't slept in my own bed other than hotels is in Dustin's bed.

The next day we woke up and ate breakfast together, Kristin went to culinary school and so her kitchen is decked out in all sorts of awesome kitchen gadgets, it was fun cooking in there. After that we walked to the park and than to a moving sale around the corner where I found some really awesome glasses to serve water in to my clients after a massage and a 6 foot tall, 3 panel screen that I am going to fix up and have in my spa for people to change behind.

After all that we hopped in my car and drove to my house where we then drove in my families car to my dad and grandma's birthday party at my Aunt and Uncle's house. Izzy had a blast playing with my cousin's 2 little kids and it was nice catching up with some of my cousins. I gave my massage card and info out to some of my family, most of them had no idea that I was even in massage school let alone that I would be graduating in 15 days or that I had a spa in my house lol. We stayed there for a long time, I think we left when it was close to 6pm and then we came back to my house and me and Izzy left to go to Lorraine's house to pick her. All three of us went back to Izzy's house and we had a little pizza and ice cream sleepover. It was nice that I wasn't lonely at all this weekend, especially Friday and Saturday night, my friends really know how to come through for me :)

Sunday we slept in a little and then we all got ready and left the house at 9:30am. I took Lori home and Izzy and I went to my church. She had so much fun in the kids room and the message was really laid back and short because it was done by a fellow pastor since the head pastor Tom was on vacation this week. We got out of there pretty early and headed back to my house. Izzy spent the afternoon playing with Candy Corn because she is obsessed with him now lol and then helping my mom weed in her garden and I spent time in the garage painting my wicker chair for my little "waiting area" in my spa. By the time I made lunch and then left the house and got back to her house in Royal Oak it was almost 4pm and there wasn't much time left until Kristin would be home so I brought my bike with me and Izzy and I went for a bike ride through downtown and then to a part on 4th ave until Kristin called me and told me she had gotten home around 5. Then it started raining ha ha, and so we rode our bikes as fast as we could and got back in record time.

Kristin had a lot of much needed fun in Chicago as well as having a little time away from her kid, which I'm sure all mothers need sometimes. Izzy was a perfect little kid with me the whole weekend, just like she always was, so I wasn't worried, I'm just glad I didn't have to spend this weekend all alone.

Winter Song

Music is therapeutic for the soul. Here is a song that has helped me through a lot. If you don't have it, download it. Its by Ingrid Michaelson.

Winter Song

This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon,
it rolls in from the sea

My voice; a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light,
to carry you to me.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love

They say that things just cannot grow
beneath the winter snow,
or so I have been told.

They say we're buried far,
just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
cause youre not where you belong;
inside my arms.

bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum

I still believe in summer days.
The seasons always change
and life will find a way.

Ill be your harvester of light
and send it out tonight
so we can start again.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
cause youre not where you belong;
inside my arms.

This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon
it rolls in from the sea.

My love a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light
to carry you to me.

Is love alive? x 10

Blah blah blah is all I hear when you talk. lol

Going through some changes...gonna make the best of it. Things are not terrible right now, I have wonderful friends, people who love me and care about me, including you. We all go through changes in life all the time so that things better suit us. Its the natural progression of things. Why get broken up about everything when we're so young? And what about on the off chance things go back to the way they were? Then all that grief and angst was wasted. I believe, unless someone dies, don't waste your truly sad feelings on other losses. Its just not worth it. Live your life, and when shit happens, get a helmet and deal with it. 

I am so glad that I have massage to concentrate on when things start to go down hill. I am glad that I have a best friend who would come over to my house at any time of the day or night just to listen to me talk when things in my life suck and I am fortunate to have a job to fill my days and class to fill some of my nights. I have pulled through worse then this and as it was recently told to me...I apparently am a strong girl...which is awesome. I didn't feel strong, still kinda don't, but gosh darn doesn't it feel good to know that someone thinks I am? That I am even dare I say it, an influence to some people. If all women handled things the way I handle them, this world might be just a little better off in my opinion. I am going to be patient, I have a heart full of love and its just waiting for someone to open it and share with me the good stuff in life. Like laughter and yes some tears. But if we didn't have moments like this in our lives, where crap just seems so overwhelming that you don't know where to turn, then how the heck would we be able to cherish the really good moments. 

And its moments like this, that make me realize who I love, how I should live, with who I should spend my time and energy on, I've realized who really cares about me, and I finally agree that sometimes its healthy to have a really good, long and emotional cry. Sometimes you just hold so much in that the only way to feel light again and to feel right about things, is to just have a really good cry. I know I feel better. 

I'm going to go to church this weekend with little Isabella and I am going to worship because it makes me feel good and I am going to talk to people after church that I normally don't talk to. I'm going to laugh my ass off about stuff that is really funny and I'm not going to think about anything other than taking one day at a time and not and not rushing anything. I'm going to sit back and look at the flowers in my mom's garden at home and I'm going to spend more time at the library like I used to. I'm going to change my life around so it suits ME again, and not anyone else first. Its time to take care of myself for a change and stop trying to take care of other people first. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to help people, I became a massage therapist for a reason after all. Helping people is in my blood or something, can't explain it, so why should I anyway? I just do it and I'm happy that I can share what I have with the world, but if I just concentrate on other people solely, then I will slowly give all of myself to everyone else and not have anything left of my identity. I won't recognize myself anymore, and I do not want that to happen. 

Things will get better for sure, it might take a while but that's where my patience comes in, and they WILL get better, I assure you. Something will happen that will make all this worthwhile. Whether its finding someone new to add to my life, or adding someone old back into my life. Or becoming a different and better person and attracting new friends to my side, I will be OK damn it, because I choose to be :)

I love the smell of a fresh coat of paint

I finished my spa this morning! I started on Friday morning at around 9am by going to my awesomely close and cool neighborhood hardware store, DeRonnes and buying a gallon of "Beach Beige" paint and some other painting essentials like a drop cloth, some painters tape, a new paint roll, a new light switch cover to help update the basement a bit, some extension cords for my fake tree with the Christmas lights on it and my little lamp, and also some tack thingy to keep the cord on the floor and out of the way against the wall.

So I headed home and started painting around 10 am. About noon my dad came home for lunch and helped me move the old broken couch out of the basement and into his work truck to take to the dump and then I got back to painting. There was still a huge pile of crap in the middle of the basement but eventually I got all that moved into new spots too. About 2:30 I ran out of paint but still needed a double coat on the last wall so I had to go back to the store to get one more gallon of paint. I came back it was almost 3 so I stopped and washed out my brush and roller for more painting later. I wanted to finish but I had 2 massages scheduled at 4pm and 6 pm and I still needed to clean up my room a bit and get ready.

at 4 Jill came over and I gave her a massage. Shes a biker mama, shes real cool. Then at 6pm her daughter Shannon came over and I gave her a massage as well. After that it was around 8pm which meant it was time for me to go to pick up some furniture from a woman on craigslist that I was buying for my studio. I got over there and loaded up my moms Explorer with 2 metal coffee tables with glass tops, a book case made of pine and 2 silver painted lamps with white shades. I ended up driving to Dustin and Erik's new house to give them the coffee tables and the lamps because they were gonna take em anyway, whats the sense of bringing them to my house just to have to load them again and bring em over there another day.

After that I came home and it was about 10pm and I finished painting the basement put the lights on my fake tree, arranged all my new furniture, put my files in my new file cabinet and put together some flower arrangements to hang on the walls and did some other stuff. By the time I went to bed it was 1:15am and since I hadn't stayed up that late in a long time, I couldn't even keep my eyes open to even put my pj's on. I just collapsed on my bed and I was out.

when I woke up Saturday morning I moved some more furniture in my basement and then did another massage for Jill's friend and then after that I baked some muffins and then Dustin came over and we had dinner with my family and spent the evening together. All in all it was an eventful weekend and if I hadn't taken that Friday off of work I never would have gotten everything done. Its still not done really, I still have to put up some shades or curtains to separate my spa from the rest of the basement, but my dad is ordering me some bamboo shades soon and I will hang those up soon. I feel so blessed that things are working out for me. I even went online to look up some info on my city's website to see what the regulations for having a home business are and they don't have anything listed that I can't comply with. Plus the yearly fee is reasonable too at $150 to have my spa in my basement.

I know I say this alot, but I am so fricken excited.

finally!

Yay, I made a massage blog that I will dedicate to talking only about massage and my schooling and also I will figure out a way to get a clientele base from it. Here's hoping I make it in the massage industry. It will be nice to have a place I can blow off steam at when the schooling is getting too much for me. 

here is the link to my new page http://handandstonemassage.blogspot.com/

go check it out!

Arrrgggghhhh!!!!! I'm so mad!

I had the chance today at work to drive all the way to Rochester Hills to pick up some parts and then drive all the way out to Novi to drop them off and then from Novi back to work here in Warren but at the last minute when I was about to leave, one of the bosses in Kentucky who happens to be here this week said he would do it. So he called me and I had to give him the directions and I hate my life. 

Its bad enough that their taking our jobs down there and we have to send all our machines there and now we have no work but now they are driving up here and taking what little work we have left as well!

So mad I could spit. Now I really don't have a thing to do today at work. I think I'm going to leave early and go get my bike from Dustin's house and head home to ride around the neighborhood. I need to blow off steam.

Back from Chicago!

Wow what a trip! I LOVE Chicago. 

I left Saturday morning for the train station with my man at around 6am and we got on the train right at 7am. The trip took longer then expected because of delays on Amtrak's end but eventually we made it into the city, an hour and half late, but in one piece.

The first day(Sat.) we walked around town for a long time and then went out to eat at a great pizza place, the next day(Sun.) we spent at the food show, which was the main reason we went to Chicago in the first place. That was amazing. I knew there would be food there and that people would be giving out samples, but there were full kitchens and people making fresh loaves of bread and cake and fried food and baked food and smoked meats and grilled steak and huge wheels of cheese that you could just take from and huge smoked salmons on tables that you could take a plate of and WOW there was a lot of food. We got some awesome pictures(above) and videos of the owner of BlenTec from Will It Blend? That was definitely a highlight. 

Me = loser.

Sunday night after the food show Dustin took me to the Signature room at the 95th floor of the John Hancock. It was the most romantic place anyone has ever taken me. I felt like a princess. I got to wear a pretty dress which a friend lent to me since I really didn't have anything appropriate, and I did my hair and everything. I know I looked beautiful because I felt beautiful. And Dustin looked so handsome! He always looks good to me but that night he looked especially handsome in his simple button up shirt and black pants. 

On Monday we went to the food show again to tie up some loose ends basically. There was a whole section of displays and stands that we never really saw the day before so we made sure to go back and see them. After that we spent the day walking around the city and the parks taking pictures and talking. There was so many beautiful things to see! There was a botanical garden, a huge fountain at the back of the park by the water, an amphitheatre set up in the park over the grass, plus huge art installations set up all over the park by the art institute.

After walking around for a while we went back to the hotel to rest and start packing. We left the next morning and came back to Michigan on the train. There's only a few things I would have liked to do differently on our trip but overall it was the best vacation I have ever been on. I hope I get to go again soon only maybe not on the train as it made me sick coming home lol.

Chicago here I come!

I am leaving for Chicago, my first real vacation, tomorrow morning at the butt crack of dawn. It was all my boyfriends idea to go, and I'm so glad he invited me. I am so incredibly excited to be going I can't stop smiling. I packed 99% of my things last night. The weather is supposed to be nice for the 4 days that we're going except for maybe tomorrow which will be cloudy and windy but hey, its Chicago, its supposed to be windy.

I am most excited for the Signature room, but not the elevator to get TO the Signature room, and also the aquarium and the food show. I also am SO happy to be trying real Chicago style deep dish pizza for the first time in my life. Yum Yum in my Tum.

I am going to try and cut myself off at spending $50 the whole 4 days we're there. I am bringing munchies on the train in hopes at not having to eat a big lunch when I arrive there.The Food Show we're going to will have food samples and such that I can eat for lunch the 2 days we go I'm sure and then the only other things I might have to pay for are *maybe* a taxi or something and the aquarium and then buying pizza. I am hopefully not going to go over my limit.

I need to save for school (on top of my bills) or I won't be able to graduate. This means: no more eating out AT ALL, I have to rely on my parents for gas money, I have to possibly start charging people $15-$20 for each massage I do, and I have to stay until 4 or 4:30 at work everyday that I can so I can get some extra cash. But after all is said and done, I can honestly say I paid my own way through school without loans and whatever and I will have a job waiting for me as soon as I get my certification and I can start making some money and paying off my debts. I will be much happier once my financial situation gets more safe and I can start really saving, hopefully for a house of my own one day.

Lunch time!
Ciao!

What a beautiful day

Its amazing to me that today can be so warm and sunny out when just last week it was cold and rainy and windy. Hell, even a few weeks ago there was frost on the ground. That's one thing I really despise about Michigan is the change in weather sometimes in an instant. You can hardly plan a day at the beach or a picnic at the park unless your in the dead of summer where you would have a better chance at the weather staying consistent. Try to plan something in the spring and you might die of hypothermia. 

In any case, the weather today seems wonderful, until it rains of course, but hopefully that won't be until later tonight after I have enjoyed the sun for a bit. I don't know what my plans are today but boy would I like to go for a walk or a bike ride. I need to stretch my legs and my ankle. My left ankle is doing better. in fact its pretty much back to 100%. Once I stopped babying it, it started to heal and feel better. Yay for me. I really hated limping around at work lol.

In other news, I had a lovely night last night. I made myself some food to take to work with me today, and then me and my mom and dad ordered out some Chinese from a new place a mile from our house that was awesomely good. Like whoa. They had Crab Rangoon that blew any and all other Crab Rangoon I've had out of the water. Then I went for a short walk with Lorraine and when I came home I watched a chick flick that I had rented the day before. All in all it was a nice relaxing evening and I like that sometimes. I like to party too, don't get my wrong ha ha, but its nice not to have anything to do but chill.

Technically my trip to Chicago starts next Friday!!!! Dustin is coming over to spend the night that night and then early Saturday morning my dad is taking us to the train station in Royal Oak where our train leaves the station at 7am and then our fun will begin!! 

3 nights with Dustin all to myself. I think this will be a good test for us. If we don't feel like killing each other by Tuesday night, then we're good ;)

Gots to go now, things to clean here at work, and no one is gonna do it but me, le sigh.

Peace

Life is such a fickel thing

So, last night on the news they were talking about some guy that held up traffic for 9 hours on the Van Dyke expressway bridge over 696, he was threatening to jump and they spent 9 hours talking him down when they should have just pushed the poos sap off the bridge after 3. Anyway...apparently Debbie who I work with, saw Michael, my ex on the news last night at a gas station talking about it ha ha. I guess they liked him so much they interviewed him for like 10 minutes! I was thinking about him last night too because He lives over near there and because of the whole thing and I thought to myself, "LOL I hope you have to sit and wait in traffic for 7 hours too, you prick" and low and behold, he did :) Debbie recognized his retarded beard and his little black Jetta so she mentioned it to me this morning at work. She also said Dustin was definitely cuter ;) tee hee

I am so excited to be going to Chicago with Dustin in 9 days. This is going to be my first real trip with someone. I just can't believe how far I've come. I think I'm actually in a real functioning relationship for the first time, and I like it. We both make mistakes sometimes, but for the most part we love each other and I think we work well together. There's a certain amount of sarcasm and joking around that lightens moods when we're feeling kinda crabby too and that, in my opinion, keeps us from actually fighting. 

We came pretty close a few days ago to a real fight though, he was being a crab and that in turn made me bitchy and I lashed out and then he told me to go home (not sure if he was joking or not but at that point I was not in the mood to stick around anyway) and I went and got my purse and then got into my car and as I was pulling out of his driveway he came around the side of the house to stop me. At that point I felt so sick of even kind of fighting with him in the first place that I almost cried. The great Breanne-shed-no-tears almost cried. I just felt so awful and sick, I would have done or said anything to make it better. I hate fighting with people, but especially people I love. 

We talked for a minute, he made a joke but I can't remember what and I pulled back into the driveway and we went for a bike ride. I apologized later for being a bitch but he never really responded. He isn't very talkative when the subject is about love or working out disagreements, so I didn't look into it much. That's just him being a guy lol.

At least he tells me he loves me ha ha. That's all I care about :)